Mass Effect: Reality Locus
by kkrraakk
Summary: Even gods get bored. The one I privately call "Loki" decided to mess with me and toss me through a random universe and a bizarre bazaar before landing me face first into Mass Effect. Yeah, well, nothing to do but go with the flow! Still mad about the lizard thing, though. New story, back to my sci-fi shooter roots! Rated M for language and eventual gore. Please Read and Review!
1. 1: Of Bored Gods and Reptiles

**A/N: Well, with all my Frozen writing, I lost sight of my roots: action games. I can think on many levels, medieval warfare to full on space battles, but I prefer Sci-Fi, and it kinda shows. So, I thought I would let rip with something that has been sitting idle on my HDD for months:**

**Mass Effect: Reality Locus**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 1: Of Bored Gods and Reptiles**

Let me introduce myself; I'm Atreyu Alexi Daniels, and I was a soldier, and a damn good one. I had survived three tours in Iraq and was promoted and then poached into black ops missions, and had a record for getting them done quickly and quietly. I never slipped up, at least until Intel dropped a major landmine in my path.

Literally; they missed the fact that the camp we were raiding had a _fucking minefield_. And so, as I belly-crawled across some scrub to get a better look at the base, the *click* and subsequent explosion was… unwelcome. My last thought wasn't of family; I had none. It wasn't of friends, either- they were all in my original unit, and were safely away from here. No, my last thought in this life was rough and crass, like me:

'Oh, motherfucker.'

The first thought I had **after** my chest was blown open said landmine was: Why am I alive?

It was followed shortly by: Oh. Everything is white light; I'm not.

My third thought was _going _to be 'Will I go to heaven or hell?' but I was interrupted by a voice in the stark white nothingness.

It wasn't holy, or the incarnation of evil- it was mischievous. In my head, I had already named it 'Loki', mostly because it sounded like what I had imagined him to.

Secondly, it fit in with what was said to me.

"Well well, my new entertainment has arrived! Took you long enough, I thought I might have to grab someone else!"

I start to open my mouth to ask a question, but the voice interrupts me. "Nope, I'm not gonna say why I chose you, or any such nonsense. No need; I simply felt like it! Hehehe."

A pause and the voice continued. "Well, I always want to be entertained, and your reality has come up with _so many_ unique ideas for universes and so on that I really need a test pilot to cause some havoc in them!"

My confusion must have broadcast loud and clear, as the voice addressed me again. "Yes I mean you. Keep up! You see, being a nigh-omnipotent being is boring… I can make anything happen, but I really don't want to exert too much effort- it makes things too predictable. So, I grab promising, young, and chaotic individuals like you and toss them into universes as I see fit. You, sir, are going to the 'Mass Effect' universe, but I'm gonna give you a pit stop into two others, first. Give you a leg up, eh? I'm not too cruel, you know."

Before I can ask what the hell he meant, my vision starts going grey, and I hear only one last thing before I pass out, and wake up anew.

"Don't expect to be your old self!"

Oh, joy.

-First Shift-

When I awake, it is to the distinct unpleasantness of being submerged. I almost panic, thinking I would drown, but as I come fully awake I notice the ventilator tube in my mouth and relax.

Marginally; I still have no idea where I am, and from that being's description, I might just be a mad scientist's guinea pig. I don't do well with needles, so I really hope not.

A fait beeping sound begins, probably in reaction to my wakefulness, and a face appears in my view. The face is blurred from the liquid, but I can make out two things right away:

It is green…

And has scales. Oh, boy.

The liquid drains away, and as such begins my adventure in this universe.

Over the next few months, I learn the local language and discover what they had done to me. When I had arrived- via a glowing gate at a local physics lab-, I was severely irradiated, pretty much dead already. This race of reptilian humanoids- they call themselves reptoids- were luckily very proficient in gene splicing, and they essentially made me a half-breed, gaining me their native resistance to hard radiation. I learned about my new body over the course of those months, and the knowledge was welcome. I had no more health issues; my new immune system was ridiculous- the combined human and reptoid systems made me a juggernaut of good health. My muscular and skeletal systems were shaping up with diet and exercise, and topped out at approximately eighteen times the durability and strength of a human's. Also, my body was growing new redundant organs, just like the local reptoids, so I was even harder to kill. My appearance changed slightly, and I was grateful not to turn green. My previous condition was pretty good; I had stood at six foot three and was three hundred pounds of juggernaut muscle. I had a square jaw, and average looks for a guy- nothing really special, until you saw my eyes and hair. I had Heterochromia- two different colored eyes. One was blue, the other a very unusual red. My hair had always been a target of teasing and ridicule- I was born with pure white hair, and people always believed that I had bleached it.

Now, I was a seven foot one monstrosity. Light, orange tinged soft scales were on my face and chest, changing to rough, toughened scaling on my arms and legs. My new muscle and bone mass made me weigh almost eight hundred pounds, and I could free lift three times that with little effort. What really threw me was the addition of a recessive trait I caught from my reptoid DNA donor- two sets of twinned horns sprouting from just underneath my hairline and continuing back across my skill, flaring out at the end into wickedly sharp points. Both were bone, and were bone-white, giving me an almost demonic appearance. As a final farewell to my humanity, my pupils became slitted like a cat's, flaring and narrowing reflexively in addition to advertising my moods.

When I had acquired a grasp of their language suitable enough for a long conversation, I was questioned. And questioned… and questioned. The military of this world really wanted to know how I got there, where I had come from, and so on and so forth. When it became apparent that I had no clue, or was unwilling to _admit_ I had a clue, they finally backed off, and I was introduced to their world.

Lemme put it this way; when people write about how much they hate fanboys/fangirls, they _mean it._ Crazed stalkers? Scarier than fifty pissed off men with RPG's breathing down your neck. Finally, after I was released from all major observation, I got around to visiting my arrival spot.

Bad idea- that is what sent me on my next trip, without as much as a fare-thee-well. Just walk in and pop!

Gone to the next place on Loki's agenda.

-Second Shift-

This time I was awake for the trip, and Loki gave me some info in the form of a snarky note. I was headed to an interdimensional marketplace to buy some equipment and a ship to arrive in Mass Effect with. The note was as follows;

"Dear mister playtoy-

Enjoying your new body? Hope you like lizards, don't really care if you don't, ha-ha! Anyway, get yourself loaded up here, on me! Just buy what you want; you have three local days for it. Remember to get a ship, or we get to see if lizards pop in a vacuum!"

I found out that if a being like "Loki" sponsors you, the marketplace knows and will just bill him. I don't know how an all-powerful being pays bills, and I don't really care to know. So, I wander and buy. First, I look for power armor, like the T-5V suits from Mass Effect, but better.

…

I underestimated the proliferation of different tech types here; every other stall seemed to offer armor or weapons, and it took a while before I narrowed it down to three choices.

One, a heavy armor with twin machine guns on each arm, running off of 'flatspace' tech, so I could have near unlimited ammo and quick reload for no real weight cost. It sported good accuracy, great protection and a frankly ridiculous amount of firepower. Once I learned that it could switch weapon types at a thought, all with the dexterity of my old BDU gear, I decided I liked it. A lot.

Two, a medium armor that was all about long range combat. The helmet looked more like a crazy collection of scopes when viewed as a diagram, but in reality it was streamlined and was a simple reflective black. This armor was offering good protection and insane tactical advantages- it could produce gravity changes better then Mass Effect tech, it could create mini-turrets, it could auto hack consoles and databanks, and best of all?

Unlimited jetpack and wrist-mounted flamethrowers.

And number three, the ninja armor. It was a light-ish armor, more of a light-duty medium armor, and offered increased strength, invisibility, sped-up reflexes, auto targeting, and had built in light, silenced/suppressed handguns and bladed weapons. It was also built on flatspace tech, so I liked that as well. But the real selling point? It could fly under its own power via gravity drives and minor thrust nozzles on my feet. Not a real jetpack, but meh. Flying. Oh, did I mention that it can remain invisible even while flying?

I ended up getting all three, and a wide variety of weapons. From handguns to crew served rocket turrets, and from small poisoned daggers to monstrous, energy bladed greataxes, I got enough exotic weapons and their blueprints and ammo specs to outfit a whole army.

The ship I got was the real beauty. It was, outwardly, the size of three Mass Effect Kodiak drop ships, but that was all armor around the engine blocks and weapons arrays- the entry and cockpit were all flatspace based, and I had as much room as I wanted here. The engines were FTL capable, in much the same manner as the Mass Effect counterparts, but it used a different gravity drive to reduce the ship's mass. It also had a wormhole drive for long distance, so if I wanted to, I didn't have to use the mass relays.

The weapons and power systems made me drool, though. The weapons ran the gamut from "Showy, but harmless" all the way to a beauty called the Juggernaut Cannon.

The Juggernaut Cannon was, well, like a Mass Effect dreadnought's main gun… turned to eleven. To the power of two hundred. It fired a projectile of Orihalcum- a digitally synthesized metal flatspace constructed onboard- that was weighted about the same as a small neutron star via the mass drives. The projectile moves so fast that it actually causes a small time-warp, always impacting the target as soon as it leaves the muzzle of the gun. The Orihalcum is a temporary construct from flatspace, and disappears as soon as time catches up to it in the real world, so no evidence is left of my weapon except the massive field of dust left behind by the offending ship… or planet. The ship generated power by pulling it from the curvature of space-time, so I had as much power as I ever wanted, or needed. It could stealth, becoming invisible to heat scanners, optical detection, and even gravimetric sensors.

It was _awesome_!

I got all my shopping done the second day, and I decided to wander on the third, jut to look around and see if I saw anything special. For hours I walked and looked, but nothing really stood out to me, until I decided to head back to my ship. As I turned around, I caught sight of a weapon, sitting on a rack outside a run-down stall. It seemed to call to me, and I walked over to take a look.

It was a run-down looking, high-tech crossbow. It wasn't really a bow, it fired excited energy shots, but the operation was like a repeating crossbow and I loved it. It even folded up like most ME tech did, so I was happy. What really made my day was the fact that it _could_ fire specialized bolts, and so I bought my favorite weapon. Taking it back to the ship, I sealed the hatch behind me, closing myself off from the outside until the flatspace opening was triggered again. As I did, I felt the psychic interface of the ship acknowledge my presence and begin preparation for a wormhole jump, just in case. I flopped on the bed, and while I waiting for the final shift, I began designing me some trick bolts.

I didn't wait long, and soon I was off on my journey into the battles of Mass Effect.


	2. 2: Bibles and Shepard and Knives, Oh My!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect or any tech/characters that may show up from other franchises. I only own my own insanity, so HA!**

**Mass Effect: Reality Locus**

**Chapter 2: Bibles and Shepard and Knives, Oh My!**

As the reality warp ended, I could tell that something had happened in the cargo bay. Not from some sixth sense, but because the corridor to the cargo area was now lime green and sporting the spray-painted text "HEY LOOKIE WHAT I DID FOR YA!"

Sighing at Loki's immaturity, I head down to the armory to see what the whack-job had done now. When I arrived, I mentally took back most of everything bad I had thought about him. When I looked in, I saw that he had somehow merged the three suits into one. The look was badass; a matte black, heavily armored _tank_ of a suit that had two machine guns mounted on the arms, with a sleek matching featureless helmet, contoured to match my horns. I just _had_ to try it on, and so I did. The flatspace tech on the armor made it collapse into a briefcase size block that I just put my hands onto, and then it crawled up my body, deploying as it did. In less than ten seconds, I was ready for any situation I could think of; I discovered that the new suit had the ability to shift 'aspects' to match the original three, with the exception of the jetpack; _that _was universal, and I loved it. After testing the functions and putting the suit into 'light mode' or morphing it into the stealth suit, I headed up to the cockpit to see where I had ended up.

When I looked at the charts, I wanted to scream and cry and thrash- I didn't arrive on earth or near the citadel, oh no. That would be too easy; Loki made me pop up near the Asari home planet, Thessia. And, with the flare of what I am sure were utterly _bizarre_ readings, half of the defense fleet was baring down on me with the intent to subdue, smash or incarcerate, and I wasn't feeling like jail food, a curiosity or debris at the moment, so I broadcast a universally translated message across the emergency bands that my 'dumb' AI found for me. It went like this:

"This is a refugee vessel, currently under emergency power. Our engines are damaged, and our antimatter core is nearing containment breach. Please keep at least 8,000 KM distant to avoid the blast wave should the containment field fail. This message will repeat. This is a refugee vessel…"

The mention of antimatter annihilation brought them up short, and put them in a holding pattern at twice the distance I listed. Works for me, gives me more time to think and stall.

Okay, time to list objectives and solutions.

Objectives:

-Get current time; see where I am in the ME events.

-Figure out what this Shepard has been up to.

-Set myself up so I _can _help Shepard, and he/she won't fill me full of lead as an unknown.

-Fix whatever mess I might have accidently made with the Asari, and make sure they don't lock me away to study like the beacon they have.

-Get to the citadel, get an identity established. Links into item three.

Simple list, but only the first two things were easy. Having my AI brows the Extranet for info, I go on to my 'solutions', ignoring number four and five on the list until I can deal with them better.

Options to get 'in' with Shepard;

-Appear and help on a mission.

-Offer assistance openly.

-If near ME2 happenings get the Illusive Man to forward my dossier to Shepard, wait to be contacted.

Options with the Asari? Gonna have to wing it, NEXT!

Citadel and ID. Well, transportation is no issue, and if I am the last of a dead race as I kinda am now, the ID might sort itself out. In fact, that might be an option to deal with the Asari, as well.

Making up my mind, I disengage the looped message over the comms and set up a new one.

"To the ships currently patrolling nearby; the reactor breach has been contained, and I am now in full control of my ship again. Sorry to have intruded on sovereign territory, if I have. I seem to have jumped into another galaxy; my wormhole drive must have been supercharged by the supernova I was escaping. If you could forward some co-ordinates for a diplomatic meeting, I would like to have a word with someone in a position to discuss what my being here means."

This, I sent in my voice, no picture accompanying it, along with a list of atmospheric conditions I can withstand. The list is quite large; I can survive in even the Volus's native environment without too much issue, so they might be giving it some odd looks now, but meh.

Shortly, I get a short text string as a response. Huh, no voice or vid for me, huh? Well balls to you, I'm gonna be difficult now just for that. The text is an area on the surface of the nearby moon, with a Thessia standard atmosphere trapped in a light Mass Effect field, accompanied by a time eight hours in the future. I frown, then remember that the ME verse ships can't micro jump that accurately, so they got to go the regular way. I decide to shock them, and punch my drives and arrive in under a second, hovering right above the designated site. I land, and await their arrival, which seems to be a mite hurried now.

After about six hours, three of which I nap through, the ships arrive and a group of three Asari disembark, the one in more formal robes leading the way. I take readings with my ship's scanners, and see that the flanking two Asari have high-powered military grade biotic amps. Commandos, huh? Well, if they want military might, they're gonna see some. I jump into my armor, and set it up for my stealth suit, blinking out of sight as I open the flatspace gateway onto the top of my ship, the three Asari seeing nothing. I maneuver through the air, positioning myself very high up, almost out of the atmosphere envelope before I cut my thrusters and engage the 'Heavy" mode. When the delegates hear the menacing whistle of my armor slicing through the air, they jump back and look around wildly, drawing weapons that had been tactical cloaked. I impact, creating a heavy dust cloud that the Asari panic fire into. Three rounds *ping* off my shields, doing literally nothing to their integrity; I love starfighter grade shields for a foot soldier.

Getting bored with the panic, I blink into the medium armor, flexing the gravity drive to scatter the dust faster. As the cloud dissipates, I morph the suit back into the tank mode, keeping my hands at my sides and not moving. The commandos, still in their panicked "KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT" mode both throw biotic attacks at me; one a warp, the other a split second later, a throw. Trying to blow me away, huh? I just reach up and _bat_ the warp away, my foreign shield type not even setting it off, and let the throw impact me, to no effect.

After basking in their gaping looks, I speak, activating my external speaker and letting them hear my voice.

"Well now, is that how you treat a visitor? I came in separately from my ship because I was concerned that you might just shoot it down out of hand. Reasonable choice, when as a reply to a meeting request is only text. A voice would have been nice, you know. Anyway, as the one here who has _not _made an attack, I guess I might get a bit less hostile reaction out of you, miss?" I addressed the last part to the center Asari who hadn't even made a move at all in the chaos.

A hint of a smile graces her face, and she speaks. As she does, I get a headache just thinking of what I did might cause.

"Hello, visitor. My name is Councilor Tevos, and I am part of what is called the Citadel Council, a governing body made up of-"

I hold up a hand, getting a stream of data from my ship now.

"Made up of a militaristic race of dextro-base avian bipeds, the Turians, the amphibious-biped race called the Salarians, and your race, the… really? Monogendered? Huh. The Asari, currently the leaders of the Council, of which you are a member of. The other major races are the mammalian-biped Humans, the _also_ mammalian-biped Batarians and Vorcha, the Reptilian-biped Krogan, the dextro-based mammalian bipeds the Quarians, the sentient machine bipeds, created by said Quarians, the Geth, and the… I'm going to guess cephalopod? related Hanar.

The gaping look on her face is short lived, a frown replacing it shortly. "Did you break into our databanks to get that information? That is a serious-"

Cutting her off again, I reply in an amused tone, "No, I didn't break into any databases or anything. That was all accessed from what is listed as public domain info dumps on the… extranet, is it called? Anyway, I just got the neural upload on the general info for this galaxy, the races, tech level and culture. So, all I really need to know, is where I would go to set up an identity as a private citizen? I have no need for money or fuel, my ship had foodstuffs for multiple generations stored and enough power for a few millennia, give or take a century, so no basic needs for now."

The councilor is gaping openly, not knowing what to do with me. Finally, she regains a bit of composure, and speaks again. "Well, that would be the Citadel, but first we need to check your biology for viruses, incompatibilities with our foods or atmosphere, and so forth. That is why we chose this section of our moon, it can be exposed to space easily id a contaminant is discovered."

I nod, agreeing that this would be a good idea. Deciding on one more shock value moment, I ask one more thing.

"I am guessing that the three of you are protected from such?" They nod, indicating the full body suits and the near-invisible helmets I didn't notice at first.

At their confirmation, I have my suit detach and store my helmet and my left arm. The Asari's faces when they see me are priceless, and I see them tweaking their omnitools, taking snapshots and video. I control my expression, and ask in my unfiltered voice; "What samples do you need? Blood, I'm guessing, and bone marrow? At their nods, I roll down my undersuit's sleeve, revealing my scaled outer arm and slightly clawed fingers. The center Asari interrupts with one more thing for the list. "We would also like a sample of nerve tissue, if possible, for matching with our technology if you wish some. Most of ours come as implants, so…"

I chuckle, and wave off her concern. "My race's immune system is incredibly robust, so I doubt I need to worry much. As tech goes, mine seems to be ahead of yours in many ways, so we will have to wait and see. On the nerve tissue, we have distributed nerve linkages throughout our bodies, so the sample I am going to donate will certainly have some."

At that, I ignite the Molecular Dissolution Blade on my right forearm and slice my left arm off below the elbow.

The startled shriek of one of the commandos pops out, and almost covers up the thump of Tevos hitting the ground in a dead faint. The other commando only looks a bit queasy, but to her credit she only flinches a little as I hand her the severed forearm.

"That should suffice for your tests and curiosity about my base genetic code. Oh, and don't worry- it'll grow back in a day or so. Please have the councilor call when the tests are done so I can move on with my life. Being the last member of a species is annoying, and if I can I want to go out in a bang, like the warrior I am."

I turn away from the stunned trio, the councilor having woken up near the end of my exchange.

A few feet away, I half turn, and speak. "By the way, my name is unpronounceable for any of the native species, excluding the Geth, so please call me by the closest name I found. It is an Earth name, and it is Atreyu, meaning Bold Guardian."

Walking up to my ship, I disengage my suit and jump- with only muscle power - the fifteen feet to the top of my ship, where I drop through the waiting flatspace portal.

As I watch the three get back into the shuttle and fly away, I run a sweep of my suit and myself. I found only a small listening device, probably planted on me during the brief weapons fire. I examine in, not worried that it might be transmitting- it was, but no signal could escape the interior of my ship unless I allowed it, so I could examine the bugger as I wished. Working one handed was a chore, so I but the bullet and jumped into the med bay, got a shot of nanobots in the stump and a protein/nutrient IV in the other arm and had a new, perfectly good hand in around ten minutes.

Alternate reality tech is awesome.

Picking up where I left off, I have the ship scan the code and trace the transmission, using a dummy signal that was a duplicate of the device's to see who was spying on me, or at least attempting to. When it got around to Cerberus, I wasn't really surprised. Using the bug, I send a simple string of text to Timmy and then vaporize the thing.

The text read:

"Spying on a totally new species is not always a good idea- they might just be better than you… at everything.

–Atreyu"

I admit, there was evil cackling.

A few days later, I get the OK to leave for the citadel, the galactic coordinates sent along with instructions on how to use the mass relays.

I decide to give them one more shock to the system, as a parting gift. I send a message back, saying "Thanks for the info on the giant mass cannons; I was wondering what you were using them for."

Then, I spooled up my wormhole drive, to the shock of the planet, and in less than ten minutes arrived in Citadel Space, around 5,000 km away from the station. Ha, "Drift just under fifteen-hundred K" THAT, Joker. Predictably, this went about stirring up a _massive_ frenzy- inbound ships armed weapons and locked onto me, the Turians enclosed my little ship in a globe formation and various ships just up and left into FTL or the mass relay nearby. I simply calmly sent a request to dock to the Asari port authority, ignoring the Turian's demands to heave to and so on. After about half an hour, the honor guard that had been waiting to escort me here through the relays' arrived and sorted things out. Still, it got me a laugh- plus in my book. Around ten minutes after that, I was standing on the Presidium, walking to the Council Chamber with one Asari, one Turian, and one Salarian guard, all armed to the teeth and giving me as many glares as they do the crowd. I have my suit in the more neutral looking medium mode with my helmet on, just to keep the stares down a bit, at least until I am formally introduced by the council.

We get to the main foyer without difficulty, and it's there that I get a look at Shepard for the first time, and also where I see where I am in the timeline.

I see _her-_ and oh, damn is she a fine lady. The basic Shepard look is there, yes, but dear _god_ is she better looking in real life than on the screen. We walk by as she finishes talking to… yep, Garrus about Saren. So, ME1 and at the beginning, huh? Looks like this is gonna be a busy day!

She, Kaiden and Ashley all stare as we walk past, probably wondering what the hubbub is about, and I hear Ashley whisper to Shepard.

"Hey, Commander, who do you think those three Specter's are escorting? Too tall for a human or Asari, _way_ too tall and muscular for a Salarian…"

Shepard shakes her head. "No idea, maybe he's the reason that Tevos postponed the Saren hearing until a bit later. Wanna find out?"

Kaiden rolls his eyes as Ashley nods vigorously. The trio then troops along behind us at a respectable distance, observing and with Ashley making remarks about how I must be some sort of experiment and so on. Kaiden looks bored- he really doesn't care. Shepard- I really need to get her first name- looks interested, and makes more suggestions as to what or who I might be that aren't so far out of the ballpark. With a smirk, I send a message to their omnitools titled "The answer to who he is!" along with an extranet link to the Asari published article of their encounter with me, complete with images. Kaiden closes it without reading it, probably thing its spam. Ashley goes full military, looking around for who sent it, and so does Shepard, but much less obviously. So, to make things interesting, I simply turn a bit and wave at them, indicating it was me. Ashley goes scarlet at being caught and closes her page too, but Shepard opens the page and reads. She gapes after a moment and pulls Kaiden and Ashley over to look too.

Sadly, I couldn't read more of their expressions at the moment, as I had entered the chamber and they had stopped to read the article. As I approached the dais, they must have gotten over the shock, because they filed in behind me, waiting off to the side. I stand in front of the council, and collapse my helmet to the gasps of the onlookers.

Tevos doesn't react- she saw me lop off an arm, after all. Sparatus just looks at me like I'm a particularly odd insect… and the Dalatrass, not sure of her name, is almost vibrating with interest. Finally, Tevos speaks.

"Today we have a momentous happening as well as a tragic one- this individual before us is the sole survivor of his race, and has come from another galaxy, at that. So, as a measure of good faith, we hereby instate him as a representative of his world, with all the benefits that includes. It is the least we can do for this man. Does anyone have any objections?"

I really wasn't expecting one, and from the looks of the council, neither were they, but a voice comes down from the upper level in clear anger.

"I do!"

An older woman, around seventy if I had to guess, comes down the stairs in a raging fury. When she comes up to the dais she opens up, staring me in the eye.

"I don't know where you get off coming up here from Hell, Lucifer, but in the name of all that is Holy, I deny thee! Your very nature is obvious, from your demonic horns to your slitted, soulless eyes!" at this, she holds up the Holy Cross and recites the Lord's Prayer, clearly expecting me to disappear, or burst into flames or something like that. I just stand there, amused, as Shepard, Kaiden, Ashley and the newly arrived Udina and Anderson face palm.

With the old woman's tirade exhausted and her looking at me in anger and fear, I speak slowly. "I see that I resemble the figure you refer to, at least superficially. I also know, from absorbing the 'Lord's Bible's text just now, that a demon or even Satan himself will not be able to take the touch of the Holy Cross on his skin. So…"

At this, I reveal my left arm, removing my armor, Tevos wincing a bit in the background, and continue.

"I freely offer you this opportunity to test me, to see if I am indeed the demon I resemble. I give you leave to touch that pendant to my skin, and come what may, I will not harm you."

Now more frightened then angry, she totters forward unsteadily, shaking even more the closer she gets. I realize that I am towering over her, and so I kneel down to her level and extend my arm out towards her, palm open.

She looks at me once more and then gently, almost reverently, places the cross into my palm, where it sits there and does nothing. I curl my hand around it and hand it back gently, her now relieved and teary-eyed face making me smile a bit of a sad smile.

"On my home world, we had a religion very similar- all the way down to the horns, too. They are a rare genetic quirk, all but gone, but I inherited them and was ostracized. But I still firmly believe that people need faith- if not faith in a God, then faith in a person or cause. I don't hold your faith against you- in fact, I admire your tenacity and spirit. Go in good health, elder." I bow my head, and she nods and totters back into the crowd, but not after barking a rough "Objection withdrawn!" loudly at Sparatus, making him flinch a bit.

I thoroughly enjoyed that.

No more objections came forth, and so Tevos finished the ceremony.

"All representatives for individual races are expected to behave with honor and integrity. Will you, Atreyu, vow to do so?"

I nod, sketching a shallow bow. "I do so vow."

She smiles, and finishes. "And so, we now have a new representative! First of all, the name of your race, for the record?"

I blink and cock my head to the side, puzzled. "It doesn't really matter, does it? But fine, we called ourselves the J'kramfodl."

Seeing her bug eyed expression, I hastily add; "But it roughly translates into Standard as the Reptics, so that will do."

She nods, accepting the out I gave her. "As the voted representative of the Reptics, please go forth into the Citadel in good health. Until next time."

I give her a deep bow, my helmet sliding into place. "Until next time."

And I cloak.

Everyone startles, my three guards among them, but nobody does anything, and the three guards seem to have been done, anyway, and they wander off.

The councilors then recognize Udina, who presents the case against Saren in a fountain of politi-speak that makes me want to disembowel him.

Finally, he gets to the main point, and Saren appears in his holographic glory.

I give him the invisible finger. Childish, I know, but he _is_ a dick.

As the meeting spirals to a close, ending the cannon way, I decide to wait outside the main room and catch the group as they leave. I walk out, and man am I glad I cloaked- veritable walls of reporters are only now dispersing, having realized that I had left unseen. I settle into a cross-legged position atop an ornamental Turian-statue-fountain in the middle of the courtyard, and wait until the last of the reporters leave, then de-activate my cloak, and wait there for the trio. I actually get a few minutes of rest in before they come down the hall, talking.

"Shepard, Ashley, I think that this info broker is probably not the best idea to go with first. I men, he works for a criminal master mind!"

Ashley speaks up next, a bit miffed. "Yeah, so? We need info, he's got it. So, he's a criminal? We beat it out of him, not buy it."  
Shepard puts a stop to the argument quickly. "This Barla Von character will probably be very helpful to us- there's no love lost between the shadow broker and the specters, so we have a good chance of getting something, and quickly. I don't like this Saren business, so I want him gone _fast_."

They nod in agreement, and they almost walk by until Ashley looks up and sees me sitting there. Her stopping dead pulls the group up short, and Shepard giggles a bit when she spy's me sitting on a large statue of a Turian, perched on the head like a post-modern wig.

She calls up to me, loudly. "Hey mister, I don't think you should be up there!"

Oh, she can't see who I am from there, huh? Guess I'm making an entrance, then.

Before she can shout again, I lean to the side, like I had fallen asleep, and slide off. They yelp, surprised, and I spin in midair and land in a light crouch, faceplate inches away from Shepard's.

I straighten up, and stow my helmet again, smirking at their reactions.

"I believe that the term to my excuse for that was… diplomatic immunity?"

Their silence was hilarious. And then…

Shepard was the one to break the silence, of course.

"Bwahahahahahaha! Really? Oh man, I like this guy. He may be an ambassador, but he isn't a stiff like the one we know…"

The other two shudder, and I reply. "Yeah, that Udina guy has a pole up his ass the size of the Destiny Ascension."

Aaaaand there goes Kaiden and Ashley.

After the trio recover from their laughing fit, Shepard starts asking some things.

"Do you mind if I ask you some questions? I won't pry too much, I swear."

I nod amicably. "Go for it, if you hit something too touchy I'll let you know."

She dives right in. "Your first name is _really_ Atreyu? That's a human name."

I snort and shake my head. "My full native name would burst your eardrums, and only a machine could reproduce it, so I took the rough translation and got the closest match. So, Atreyu it is."

She frowns. "No last name, no family or clan name?"

I shake my head sadly. "No, when the last member of a family is left, they drop the name until they wed again or die- their name will either come again, be erased, or stay dead."

Shepard nods absently, absorbing the information. "Okay, one last question. How did you become the sole survivor of your race?"

I let my face go completely blank, the question hurting. Loki had shown what happened to the Reptic home planet after I left- they survived a year, up until their coming home festival came along, then a massive gravitic disturbance caused their sun to go nova, vaporizing their planet.

Dick had done it just as she asked that. It hurt both my head and my soul.

"We had only expanded into a few systems outside our home planet- we Reptics have a strong urge to return home once a year, and so we all come back to the home planet once a year. The freak nova happened right as we started. I was leaving the system on a delivery run- heading out to get some more foodstuffs for my home city from a storage depot two systems over- a ten minute stint, with our drive systems. The sun went nova as I jumped, and I ended up above Thessia with an unstable antimatter reactor and the knowledge that I am alone."

There was silence, and Shepard broke it in a voice hoarse with unshed tears. "Oh god, how do you even function?!"

I give her a humorless smile. "I am a warrior, one of the best of my race. I have seen thousands die around me on hostile planets- there was one with a sentient plant that caused all the colonists to go mad and attack- we had to kill or be killed. I am used to death, so this was not so hard a thing to process as you might think."

She gives me a nod, and then a quirked smile. "Good warrior, huh? On my planet, we have a saying…"

At that, she flicked a knife out of her gauntlet, another from her hip sheathe, and pulled two more from hidden ports around her midriff.

"It says that a good warrior is always prepared. I don't see any openings for knives, and I see no weapons either. You want to retract that statement?"

Oh, she _did not just pull that challenge out._

"Time for a lesson, then. My personal rule number 2 of combat?" I blur around her, appearing in the middle of the trio with a double bladed Molecular Dissolution stave held to Kaiden and Ashley's throats, while my other shows _four_ razor sharp throwing knives pointed at Shepard, with the hilts of more sticking out of glowing red flatspace ports on _many_ places on my armor.

"Never underestimate your opponent." As I say this, she whirls and tries to Push me away- I just shift to my Heavy armor and point the _very large machine gun_ at her as she stares.

"This suit I wear? It has ammo enough for twelve _years_ of sustained fire at 3600 rounds per minute, and can synthesize more from surrounding materials. It had over five hundred different melee weapons available from my flatspace storage, all of them able to split a tank _from my world_ in half as if it were paper."

I reset my suit to medium and step back from the wide eyed trio. "And that is why I am always prepared."

Ashley, still in her full xenophobia shtick has to snark one out there. "So your toys make you a good soldier, huh? I bet you couldn't get fifty feet in a combat zone in standard heavy armor!"

I give her a look of pure disgust and start in. "Really? Did you somehow see my training, my missions? No, you didn't. If you had, you would have known that I regularly went into full combat in nothing so protective as your armor, and was lugging twice my bodyweight in equipment. On that mission, my team had fifty hostiles surrounding us, and we had to hold with only two clips to a pistol. So, I set the rest of my men up around our VIP to protect him, and I left my second clip with them. I went hunting, with nothing on me but my crappy-ass armor and my twenty-round pistol." I glance at Shepard, and give her a sardonic smile. "The one time I didn't bring a knife, too."

Returning my attention to Ashley, I walked up to her and locked gazes. I was so mad, I could feel my pupils slitting in anger, and my lips peeling back to show elongated incisors.

"I came back with fifty kills and a full pistol, while my men were unharmed. It took me one hour."

She was gripping her rifle with white knuckles now, probably itching to shoot me I was scaring her so much. I leaned back, and adopted a blank expression.

"I dare you to do better with the same equipment."

I turn back to Shepard, plastering on an obviously fake smile. "If you need anything that I might be able to help with, just let me know; I'll be in the markets for right now, probably gonna stop into Dr. Michel's place to see if your 'Medi-gel' will work for me."

I walk away, heading to the Rapid Transit air car nearby. Pausing after a couple steps, I throw a parting comment back their way.

"You impressed me with the knife thing. Keep going- you're already better than the two 'specters' they had guarding me."

As I climb into the air car, I catch a glimpse of a small smile on her face… and a _very_ large blush.


	3. 3: Aye Aye EYE!

**A/N: Well, some action is gonna happen soon! Be ready!**

Mass Effect: Reality Locus

Chapter 3: Aye Aye EYE!

As I got out of the air car at C-sec, I looked around to see if I could spot a familiar face. I had really wanted to meet him, as he was my favorite character in Mass Effect, and he had always accompanied my squad. Always. There is something to be said for having a living tank on your side…

Ah, there's where he would be in the game. It's empty, so I guess that Shepard must have gotten here before me. Ah, well- I'll still get to meet him at Chora's Den, so I just have to wait. I weave through the crowd until I get to a familiar staircase with a familiar face standing there. Oh god, it's that reporter lady. I don't want to deal with this right now; I'll go the other way.

Too late; she already caught sight of me and is heading this way. Thinking fast, I walk back around the corner and cloak, disappearing from view. As I expected, she rounds the corner, pausing as the fact that I'm gone registers. With a particularly nasty curse, she turns around and heads back to where she came from. Sweet, I avoided miss tabloid! Looking around, I see what I have to work with as I wait for Shepard. Unlike in the game, all those doors that don't open or are unmarked lead to more stores or businesses; the Citadel is very much busy 24/7. I browse, attracting odd looks in my full armor. News hasn't travelled too far about me, as nobody rushes over to express condolences for my loss or whatever. After buying some foodstuffs that I had dearly missed in my excursion to the Reptic planet, stowing them in my flatspace pack, I go over to an exotic weapon vendor and ask him some questions.

"Hello, do you sell bolts here? Not the kind for construction, but crossbow bolts and the like." The twitchy Salarian at the desk looks me over in fear and interest, taking his time to answer.

"We do, indeed. In fact, we have some 'trick' bolts available from the Talon Mercenaries- just licensed us to sell them, too! We have standard arrows in multiple lengths, but all of the Talon arrows are actually Omni-tool fabricator kits. Of those, we have tech arrows- they explode like a short range overload. Very useful against shields, and can be toned down to non-lethal. Secondly, we have the armor-piercing module. It modifies the arrows with a hardened composite tip accompanied with a Mass Effect field increasing impact force and penetration. Finally, we have one more module. The Talon Company sent this one to us as a limited production run that they cancelled for another product. These arrows are high-explosive- the shaft is packed with an exotic and near illegal mixture of confidential composition, and the head is designed to fragment for extra shrapnel damage. The first two arrow modules are 25,000 credits each, and the Explosive Arrow module is 45,000 credits. Our standard arrows are a flat rate of 120 for 1,000 credits, with discounts for bulk. Would you care for any of these?"

I think for a moment- I have no credits, but I do have some sweet things that I had picked up inside the Bazaar for trade. Let's see if I can make a deal.

"Well sir, I don't have the liquid assets to buy these outright, but I do have some exotic goods for trade. Would you like to see what I have?"

The shopkeep gives me a weird look- he can't seem to get a read on me. Giving in to curiosity, he nods. Opening up my suit's interface, I project the contents of my 'junk' flatspace container. The poor merchant's eyes almost bug out before he wobbles and sits down on the floor.

Looking up at me, he says in amazement; "Where in the galaxy…? Doesn't matter."

Standing up fast enough to make even my head spin, he holds out his hand. "This looks like the start of a beautiful trade."

After a half an hour of haggling, we come to an agreement; I end up purchasing all three units and a top of the line Omni-tool, and he got three small molecular synthesizers, each locked into a specific material. The look on his face when I responded to his query about Tungsten, Palladium and pure Carbon was utterly priceless.

Deal made, I walked off further into the shops, taking a roundabout way back to the Fast Travel cab. I took a quick detour to my ship, where I ditched my foodstuffs and donned a standard N7 grade hard suit and shield combo- I had a bone to pick with Ashley, and I was gonna make it _hard._ I attached a small arsenal of various knives and small daggers to the suit, looking like some sort of nutcase in all probability. For a weapon, all I do is grab the rundown energy bow from the armory and transfer my flatspace storage unit onto my armor, interfacing it with my Omni-tool, and storing my main suit in it for safe keeping.

Now ready for a small war, I step out into the docks, hail a cab, and head for Chora's Den. Arriving there, I see the three assassins that greet Shepard. They see my N7 type armor and freak. "Damn, Shepard sent back up! Take him out!"

Wow, touchy sons of bitches. Before they can open fire, I spin and throw a long, double bladed knife end over end, its spiral ending point down in the Turian's left eyeball. The two others, seeing how quickly I took out their leader, begin to panic and proceed to spray my position with rounds, bringing my shield down to half before I get into cover. Drawing my bow, I pop my Disruptor Arrow module into my Omni-tool and soon have three electric arrows ready to do some damage. Drawing the cable back, I take aim and release the arrow as one goon sticks his head out to aim- it takes him full in the face, his weak shields popping instantly and he goes down twitching, his face a mess of electrical burns.

Two down hard, one to go. The last one was raring to go, and had charged me as I shot his buddy. He got close, and I got to show him something interesting about me; I have strength on-par with a Krogan in a blood rage. I duck his swing with the knife, grabbing his wrist and breaking it with a twist. He drops the knife, and I identify it as the blade I used on the first Turian. Irked by his misuse of my equipment, I grab him by the armor and dangle his stupid ass off the ground. He glares and spits in my visor; I move my head and the mucus misses. Thoroughly pissed now, I wind up a throw and using my bodies momentum and strength, I toss him across the platform, his body impacting with the wall next to the doorway to the wards with a harsh *crack* as his spine and skull shatter. At that moment, I look at the doorway and see Shepard, with Garrus and Wrex in tow, looking at the carnage in shock. Giving them a jaunty salute, I walk forwards. Wrex takes offense to this and draws his shotgun, with Garrus following suit with his sniper and Shepard grabbing a SMG. Putting my hands in the air, I drop my smile.

"Damn, do someone a favor and get held at gunpoint- great way to say thanks for taking out an ambush meant for you, Shepard."

I get treated to the classic raised eyebrow from Shepard as the three holster their weapons and approach.

Close enough to make out the unique shape of my helmet, Shepard twigs to who I am. "Atreyu! I thought you would be going to the markets!"

Shrugging, I indicate my armor and Omni-tool. "I did, grabbed some native gear and went with it. More challenge to working with this stuff- my personal armor makes the T-5V suits the N7 heavies use look like toys. Anyway, like the present? If the way they radioed in when I got here was any indication, the people in the club know you're coming, and will have quite the welcome ready."

Cocking my head, I take notice of the other's standing there. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to be rude. The name's Atreyu. I recognize you, Garrus, from the lobby entrance to the council chambers. I don't recognize you, sir. What's your name, Battlemaster?"

The group's eyes all go wide. Apparently it is unusual to recognize a Krogan Battlemaster at first sight.

"The name's Wrex. How the hell did you know about my Biotics?! You been spying on my, human?"

This causes Shepard and Garrus to cough nervously. Laughing quietly, I undo my helmet and enjoy Wrex's wide eyed stare at my appearance.

"Seen the news lately?" From his blinking and nod, he does recognize me now. Huh, never knew you could make a Krogan speechless.

"First of all, I'm not human, as you can see. Second, I have tech that outstrips yours by an order of magnitude. My omni-tool detected your barrier powering up, so I called you on it."

Holding out my hand, I look Wrex in the eye. "Atreyu, nice to meet a warrior of your caliber."

He takes the proffered hand, putting it in a crushing grip. I return it twice over, earning another wide eyed stare at my strength. He nods and speaks.

"Damn good grip you got there- almost stronger than me!"

I chuckle and step back. "Nice to know where I am on the food chain. Anyways, from the sound and looks of it, you three are assaulting the bar here, right? Want some assistance?"

Shepard nods quickly. "it would be nice, yes. I have Ashley coming down to the area now to switch with Garrus. He needs to work some on the C-sec paperwork, so we decided to swap him out."

I shrug. "Makes no difference to me. Had a point to make with this armor, anyway. Any idea when she'll get here?"

Shepard cocks her head to the side- wow, that's adorable. Gah, focus dude! "Any second now, I would guess. I don't see a gun on you- you good to go?"

I smile and draw my bow, deploying it. The few odd looks from the group make me explain. "This bow is from my world's tech- it can fire a concentrated plasma bolt- which I have disabled for the moment- or it can fire arrows or bolts from my omni-tool. Right now, I have armor piercing arrows, overload arrows, and some high-powered explosive arrows. It's silent, deadly, and efficient. I have the speed to shoot it faster than your standard shotgun can cycle, and still have good accuracy too. It works, I like it, and no- you can't have one."

Her budding puppy-dog look is crushed. I almost feel bad, but as I don't have an extra or any idea on how to make one myself, I can't help it. At that moment, Ashley arrives from behind them. Her look of curiosity turns straight to a look of contempt when she sees my face, and morphs once more into confusion when she sees my armor. Then, she goes red in the face and opens up on me, drawing her weapon. She stalks forward, rage visible in her stance. Now she's in my personal space. Wow, she's aiming her shotgun squarely at my face, just inside my arm's reach. Idiot- you don't get that close if you don't have to, not with something like that!

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!? That armor is only available to N7 operatives! Who did you kill for it!?"

Did she really-? She did.

Enough is enough.

Blurring forward, I take the shotgun from her, the momentum from my grab sending her to the floor. When she scrambles up, she sees me looming over her.

"Well, go ahead! Shoot me! Kill me like you did the man you stole that from!"

Too far. My frustration has reached the boiling point. I take her shotgun in both hands- one on the barrel, one on the stock- and flex.

The hardened metal shatters like plastic, the jolt from the breached power cell flickering on my shields.

Staring her in the face, her shocked look seemingly stuck there, I lean into her face, inches away, and softly speak.

"Watch your tongue, xenophobe. I bought this armor from your embassy, legally- I am neither a thief nor a murderer. Insult me in such a manner again, and it will be your arm broken, not a flimsy shotgun."

I turn back to Shepard, aware that she had drawn her own weapon during the scuffle, and now had it aimed squarely at my face, just _outside_ my reach. Smart.

Staring her down, I speak in a friendly tone.

"Now that that's settled, what do you say we go start a barfight?"


	4. 4: Martial Prowess

**A/N: Shorter chapter- working on my Frozen stories more, but this popped out and although short, you Mass Effect fans deserve your fix too.**

**Anyway…**

**Lights. Camera. **_**Slaughter!**_

Mass Effect: Reality Locus

Chapter 4: Martial Prowess

It took a few minutes, but finally we got ready to assault the bar. The fact that Ashley had to wait outside? Icing on the cake.

When we walked into the seedy strip bar, the first thing I did was unload a HE Arrow into a Krogan's face. His shield and natural resiliency kept him alive, although he was knocked on his ass.

My follow up leap that took me across the length of the bar and ended fist-first _through_ his cranium?

Cause of Death: Leaping Facepunch of Doom.

I might have to copyright that.

As I stood up, I took stock of the situation. Shepard and Garrus were working over a few idiots near the doors who just charged them- Garrus got a collateral kill via sniper, while Shepard pulled a classic and a poor assault rifle wielding merc got a face-full of futuristic buckshot. Wrex was wreaking havoc- he was ignoring the incoming fire and his own shotgun in favor of wading in and smashing heads. He grabbed two idiots who got too close and turned them into conjoined twins- at the head. I winced; that was _brutal_. Finally, the men oriented on me got over the shock of someone drop-punching a Krogan to death and started peppering me with rifle fire. I took cover and re-drew my bow, aiming along a trajectory path that my HUD projected onto my retina. Drawing the cable back, I prepped an armor piercing arrow, and let fly. The arrow flew true, penetrating the thin table I aimed at and spearing the man behind it in the neck, just in line with the spine. One more down. Across the way, I hear a yell of panic and an unfamiliar roar; I look over and the world slows.

A Krogan- most likely a warlord, judging by the hammer the size of a car's engine block- was standing over Shepard, hammer in mid-swing and glowing with biotic energy. I did the only thing I could think of at that moment- I disengaged the safeties on my armor suit's joints and _moved._

A little known fact about the race that I was adopted into? They have an extreme reaction to the 'Fight or Flight' instinct. Depending on which side was triggered, one could gain ridiculous resistance to pain while the chemical limiters on the muscular system temporarily relax, or you get an absurd quickening of neurological functions, causing your reaction speed to barely be measurable, and causing the fast-twitch muscles in the body to work at increased efficiency. I had discovered that my unique biology allowed me to activate them by will, but only during elevated stress times; in other words, I needed adrenaline to spike my system into action.

At this point, I chose "Flight." I was across the intervening distance in less than two seconds, the hammer just having started to swing down towards her face. I arrived, and acted.

I grabbed the hammer's handle just below the Krogan's grip and twisted- this caused his biotic effect on the hammer to dissipate, and allowed me to relieve him of said weapon. Leveraging him up and around, using the momentum of his swing, I slammed him onto the ground opposite Shepard. Stunned, he could only goggle at me as I raised his own hammer and brought it down straight onto his face. The noise was disgusting- Blood, bone, brain and a mixture of all three was sent flying as his head and shoulders ceased to exist- his barrier didn't hamper my swing at all. Still in my blood-rage, I stand up and shift from "Flight" to "Fight." Feeling the burn of my muscles overclocking, I heft the hammer in one hand with ease and throw it at the nearest group of mercs. I hit one head on, and the hammer obliterates his torso, tearing a huge hole in it as it sails through and bashes the man behind him in the legs, turning them into little more than bags of shredded muscle and bone gravel. I follow the hammer, grabbing and throwing all in my way towards the mercs- chairs, tables, other mercs- didn't matter. Every projectile I launched killed or crippled, and I tore through the crowd, not even noticing that the team I came in with had stopped shooting in amazement and horror. As the last merc gurgled through his crushed ribcage, I sighed and released my hold on my rage, fatigue rushing up on me as my boost wore off. Stumbling a bit, I make my way over towards the team. Before I can say a word, Shepard freaks.

"Holy SHIT! Was that REALLY NECESSARY?! This is a _bloodbath of epic proportions! What the HELL set you OFF?!"_

I look over at her, sigh, sit down on a relatively blood-free chair, look her in the eye and speak.

"What set me off? That was normal for me; I'm protective of those I fight with. I saw that warlord standing over you and reacted- would you rather be a stain on the floor?"

That shut her up quick. She gives me the fish eye as the group rests a bit. Wrex just shifts impatiently, wanting this to be over with. Finally, we're ready to go on. By unspoken agreement, I take point and head down the hallway. I spot the dock-workers, give them a glare and a growl, and they sprint off screaming before the others can even react. Wrex still has a comment, though.

"You should have killed them- they had weapons pointed at you."

I look over and give him a deadpan stare. "I could have- and the second one of them pulled the trigger, they would all die. But they didn't, and I didn't have to kill some misguided civvies, and so that is a good thing."

I end the discussion by opening the door to Fist's office, revealing the man and setting off his auto turrets. We take cover, and shoot back. The Turrets don't go down easy; they're heavily armored, and don't seem to need to vent that often. Finally, I get grumpy.

"I've had enough of this shit. Fist, turn off the turrets before I use you as a meat shield for them." The idiot laughs, and begins to taunt us. Feeling the throb in my temple worsening at his irritating spiel, I just give up and go. Sprinting from cover, I make for the turret on the left- it's more exposed, and I'm willing to bet the other turret has safeties to prevent it from firing on its twin. Charging across the room, my shields go down quick and I take three rounds- one in the chest that is stopped by my armor, one in the left arm that isn't too bad- I ignore it, and one in the leg- just as I reach the turret. Stumbling, I throw myself behind the turret's firing arc and pull a molecular disruption blade from my flatspace storage. Thusly armed, I hack at the casing and wiring until it smokes and goes still. Turning, I ignore the pain in my leg and arm and sprint for the other turret, vaulting over Fist and his desk as I go. I manage to grab his gun as I pass overhead, and when I land next to the turret I use it as a club and jam it straight into the swivel base, shattering both the turret's connections and the rifle. Standing up, with Shepard, Garrus and Wrex behind me, I walk over to the whimpering Fist.

I look him in the eye and speak in a low voice. "You have a lot of questions to answer, and not a lot of time. You get one out, and then I start breaking important things, capiche?"

His frantic nod is his answer. I wave Shepard forward, and she begins interrogating the man. I half listen, more to see if I can catch him in a lie or not. Too bad he took my threat seriously- I would have loved to follow through on it with that piece of shit. Finally, Shepard's done questioning him. I see her walk away, and Wrex walk up. He racks his gun and-

*BANG*

Look ma, no head!

Shepard looks over, horrified. I stop her oncoming tirade. "Shepard, Wrex was hired to kill him- he puts his job first, and really? That sack of donkey balls deserved a much worse death than that. So, let's get the hell out of here and clean up, yeah?"

Her jaw works for a moment before she nods. We walk out, them heading for their dock, and me for my ship. A quick rapid transit ride and I arrive. Entering my ship, I notice something odd- I smell nachos.

I didn't program that into the meal system, so I went on high alert. Turns out, I didn't need to. I arrived in the main cargo bay to find a mako-sized bowl of nachos waiting for me. I look around, bewildered, before looking up to the ceiling and reading the text that Loki wrote.

"That was kinda a _Gouda_ two shoes thing to do, _eh_? Why help them? Bah, I don't care, you just make things fun! And as for the nacho's? Well, they're here… FOR THE CHEESE!"

As I read the last word, the nacho bowl suddenly erupts, spraying hot cheese everywhere. It covers me and my armor, and I groan- the blood and battle debris are going to be hard enough to get out, but this stuff?!

I needn't have worried. The junk vanished after a moment, leaving the room and my armor sparkling clean.

Pleasantly surprised, I head to the galley to eat and plan my next move.


End file.
